I Decided to Grow Anyway - episode 235
Here’s a word we are hearing more and more. Neurodivergent. Coined in the 1990’s neurodivergent simply means someone whose brain processes information in a way that is not typical of most individuals. Think autism, ADHD, OCD, dyslexia and Down’s syndrome to name a few. Enter Barbara Grant*, this week’s Grief & Gratitude guest. Through the grief of divorce she learned that neurodivergence does not have to be the end. Especially when in relationship it can be a new beginning but both people have to want it. While that was not her story, Barbara is grateful. She helps neurodivergent couples thrive. She decided to grow anyway.
We don’t have to mask who we are. With the help of people like Barbara differences can be just that - differences. Really who wants to be identical to everyone else? I am grateful for the work Barbara is doing and I liked learning more about it.
*You can find Barbara here Barbara Grant.
Resilient. Encourager. Beloved.
— Barbara Grant
Yes, I Am Sure
Thoughts from I Decided to Grow Anyway
Good grief! Who isn’t different? I’m not sure there is typical, ordinary, average, common, etc. These are all words that speak to a blandness, a run-of-the-mill person. If you really think about it there is no such thing. I get that there is a bell curve and most fall in the middle with the sides being less (or more, depending). Yes, I intellectually get that. But when you look at each individual person you see everyone is unique, different from the next. Yes, we have things in common of course, but thankfully we are not the same.
We are a product of our genetics, our experiences. I had a conversation today with a fellow podcaster and she interviewed me for a future episode for her show. Amanda likes to go back to the beginning to get a sense of someone, why and how they evolved the way they did. At first I felt a little reluctant to go back yet I soon understood the purpose. There were things that started to track, certain themes that emerged so it became more of a knowing then a rehashing of my beginnings.
One thing was my understanding of God. There was not a time in my life when I didn’t know about his existence. Some people don’t start out that way. Amanda wondered how my awareness of God developed. I see that it happened in stages as most things do. As a child we went to church (Mass specifically), weekly catechism (it was called CCD, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) where I met lifelong friend, Diane. She was wild and I felt magnetized to her. Ever the good girl there was that part of me that was curious about the shenanigans she might get us into. And we did have a few shenanigans along the way. Thank God.
The next big reveal came when friend Becky invited me to her non-denominational church. It was wildly popular and a lot of the “cute boys” went there so, why not? People carried their Bibles to church, the music was stirring and the message was simple. No rituals to speak of so that was different. Not good or bad different, just different. I appreciate the difference. And yes there was an abundance of cute boys.
When I had a child I made the choice to go back to the foundation of what I’d been taught. I also decided I would go back to school, get my teaching credential and I would work in some kind of Christian education. Having this extra depth in learning made sense to me as I did not want to have to separate out my faith from what I did for a living. I absolutely loved marrying the two! The students and I started each day with prayer and I would hear the things that weighed on them which gave me a deeper compassion and understanding of their lives. It made everything richer.
Blending a family, and having our son who would only live a short time, was another big marker in the faith journey. I don’t think I realized the depth of my agony was matched by the joy of treasuring every moment Christian was with us, all 92 days. In equal measure was my need for God. Some would call it a crutch. If a crutch is something you lean on because you can’t stand on your own, then yes, please, and thank you. I would not have survived without my faith. I wouldn’t have wanted to. Faith gives you hope. It gives you a reason to carry on because you know this is temporary, it’s fleeting. It’s a time of laying a groundwork of sorts, stretching what is possible, creating beyond reach, and experiencing what only this life can offer. It’s finite. It’s here. It’s now.
Lastly my faith has increased in this third chapter of mine as I let go of many of the containers that used to make me feel safe. I get that most things are beyond my pay grade and that I don’t really need to know the answers to all the mysteries. For he does. And since I trust him, that’s really all I need. That is faith, in a nutshell. It’s to be sure of things we hope for and certain of things we cannot see. - Hebrews 11:1. (As I recall, that is the first verse I memorized. It made so much sense to me.) Yes, I am sure.
Every stage, however hard, brought me deeper still.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
And these two do…Diane. Becky.
